Family

The Ziebart Family. This was the family we spent holidays with and always squirmed to leave early so not to be too late to Mom’s side of the family. (Mom’s side) The side of the family with the cousins we loved and the aunts we adored. The Ziebart family was loud and shocking and slightly uncomfortable. Harmony says it well in that she must prepare herself whenever a gathering comes about, and I wholeheartedly agree. It’s not that this family is bad, I love them all dearly, they are family. And the discussions are always ok, as long as you don’t get anyone started on politics, religion, sports, health or investments. Stick to Construction.

I love my Grandpa, afterall, he is the only Grandpa I have. Bryan and I were good friends, when we were little seeing that we went to pre-school together and all. Ben’s long hair mezmorized me, Uncle Norman scared me, Aunt Patty shushed me. We gathered at holidays … but that was it. Though we all mostly lived in the same city, we did not hang out. I don’t really know why.

So a few years ago Mandy got married and had me help with the gifts at her wedding, then I caught the boquet! I was enamored with her. Nick and Mandy moved back to the area a few years later and invited me to Portland, to their Bible Study. It was so out of my comfort zone, but out of lack of excuses and a deep desire for something new, I went. I started to get a small glimpse of their lives. School brought me here, and now I spend more time with them then pretty much anyone else.

Harmony asked me about a week ago if Mandy and I were friends. I laughed, sighed and responded in an email that yes indeed, Mandy, my Ziebart Cousin and I were friends. How mysterous our God is. This cousin that I have so many connections with, is now a deep part of my life. I am trusted with her kids and her kitchen. And I delight in being with her. Her devotion to God, her respect for her husband, her patience with neighbors, and her joy of being a mom - these things speak rivers to my soul. How thankful I am that the Lord closed doors on a job for me this summer. Mandy, if only you knew what joy it is to serve with you.

Expansion Expanded

(For Harmony)

I grew up mesmerized with the missionaries who came clothed in colorful cloth. They came with seaweed and bamboo and silk. They had stories. I wanted to be them. So bad, I wanted to be them. So, I spent my life striving to be them. I mean after all, if I am willing to go to the Amazon and be shot by a native tribe, then the Lord must send me right?

I spent every single class period in Mr. Bentleys room all throughout Jr. High and Highschool staring out the window; looking towards the western hills that lead to the Pacific which lead to Asia, which lead to Africa. Every day was a new story I would dream up, I would be clothed in one of those magnificent outfits, changing the world for Jesus! If there was anything that the AG taught me, and taught me well, it was how to be passionate. I was 16 and GOING to take over the world for Jesus. I wanted to go anywhere but home.

September 21, 2007 – I arrived in Budapest, Hungary and began the journey I just KNEW God was calling me to. Overseas, it was the first step. I learned some things that I liked to do, but I found lots of things that I didn’t. I missed the culture I knew how to reach. I missed home and longed to one day go to Portland.

So then I go to China! And I spend two months mentally jotting down every motion of a missionaries wife'; wanting, waiting, longing to be her. I found the life to be no where near as exciting as I once thought, it was still life. I also found the mission to be much harder than I thought.

On the way home from that trip, my sister told me it was time for me to go to school. And I was just in this place that I said “OK.” So I picked Multnomah because it was close to Grammy and the church Nick and Mandy were planting. And I enrolled in the intercultural program, because you get to spend a semester abroad … and that is what I am to do … right?

Here we are at the now part. The where I am at the present and where I am going with the future. The who I am and who I desire to become. I am serving at this church, and we are small. Smaller than the small church I grew up in. And I love it. I love it more than I think I have ever loved anything. We are full of inconsistency and hurt and needs. But, our joy and giving and love exceeds all of these. We serve in a Multi-cultural neighborhood … did you see the word culture? Yeah, I just saw it too. I think that is the key here.

Everything I study at school, everything I have learned about missions and cultures and fundraising – it applies right here! It applies more to this neighborhood than to anything else. I know my culture, and I can help teach it to someone else, and my studies of how to relate to them … that helps me …. HERE.

For the first time in my life I am truly content being exactly where I am. This is where I am serving. This is where I want to serve. This is where I want to stay. Who I am depends on who I allow myself to be in the Lord. Where I am allows me to delight in him more than if I were anywhere else. This is how I know I am to be here. Check out this old post to see more of why I delight in him.

So the question of do I have the courage to expand my life? I think I do … because I believe I am doing it right now.

My Church

Have I told you about my church? I like it a lot ... It has been a long time since I have really enjoyed a church. It's called Kononia PDX and is located in the St. Johns neighborhood of North Portland, the pastor is my cousen Mandy's husban Nick. Nick and Many just adopted two wonderful boys on Thanksgiving day and are learning very quickly what it means to be parents!



Yesterday we had donoughts and strawberry pastry and a fire. I ruined a pot of coffee by not puting a filter in and we almost used the communion juice for breakfast! There was a fire roaring in under the hearth and christmas icicle lights dangling above canvas artwork. We lost the keys to the cabinet and spent a good fifteen minutes searching everywhere. Finally I went in the Kitchen and asked the Lord to just make the keys appear, just then (seriously that moment!) Celina screamed and I heared the famaliar sound of jingling. Oh Lord, you do take care of your children.



We had I believe sixteen people yesterday, excluding Mandy and the boys (they have yet to make their formal entrance into the church family.) Sixteen, maybe you dont get it, but that is super exciting! There was a new face and in our attempt to be welcoming I fear we were a little overwhelming, we can only pray he saw the intentions of our hearts. The three little girls were really well behaved, they were able to sit at the kids table in the same room as the adults and play with stickers quietely. I was able to color and listen to the sermon, seriously the best of both worlds right there!



Nick gave a great message on the Advent, on what it looks like to get messy. He gives the story example in his blog. We are learning about the Advent Conspiracy theory which started a few years ago by the good people over at Imago Deo church. The theory is that we need to take the money would spend on christmas and give it away, for christmas presents we can make things, or give our time, our presence. I really love this, thought I dont have much money to give, I usually just give presents that I made or involve my time anyway, but it put everything into persepctive.



After church yesterday we had potato soup. It was delisous! Then I spent time with Mandy and Celina as we made a couple house visits and I met a wonderful woman named Cookie. We stopped at Julias house, and saw Jeff and Debbies dogs and chatted with the neighbor whose name we did not know about how much he enjoys the new little boys. We had tea and dropped Many back off, I think I saw little Richard through the window (I have yet to meet the boys.) My day was plesant, I was not in a hury, I anticipated spending my entire dy "at church" which if you havnt caught on by now is not really a place. Well, we do meet in a place, but that is not the essence of it. It is a community, maybe a small community for now, but a community of people living, growing and serving each other. I love my church and want to be a part of it for a long time. I am thankful for the Lord leading me to Portland where I can be a part of this church plant, I only hope that I can serve more and

Vulnerability

A few weeks ago I started going to a small group at Salem Alliance, its been realy amazing.

It is the first group that feels simply real. Real to the core. Its not showy or clicky or even churchy. It just is. The couple that are leading it are really in love with Jesus. Matt and Susan have stories that I cant wait to unfold! They are simply seeking life as are we. They spent 13 years preparing to be missionaries in France with there 3 girls but find themselves in Salem, where he grew up, leading a college small group. They are just seeking.

For 4 weeks we have been discusing Gods Will. My life perspective is changing. First off I love this group because it gets me to think deep, but that good kind of deep thinking, the healthy kind. And I loved that the first week he asked a question I didnt know the answer to! I got so excited! What a weirdo right? It means there is room to grow! Not knowing the answer means that an answer needs to be found! It means that study is involved and my brain just jumped on board!

I like that real questions are asked. Its like sensative subjects almost force chosen vulnerability. I love talking about things, but am not always the best at figuring out how to start it. I walked in today and Susan asked Heather and I where we were going to chuch, we said we were kinda looking. Rather than giving the expeced response of "oh" (that "oh" followed by an interesting facial expression that implys more than the listener really intended to imply) she asked "So what have you noticed at these churches? What is the same with them?" I was really taken back because the question was so unexpected, she really cared and was interested. I talked about how worship was the same at most places. The worship teams were good, the song choices were good - but the response from the audiance was quite ususally bland. Anyways, her simple question got 6 of us talking about worship for like 30 minutes. Then when Matt came in he asked 2 more questions : (1) If you could do one thing in life what would it be and, (2) what is the worst mistake you have ever made. It was just cool, cause he expected answers. So people answered. And when the day was started with vulnerability, we were able to carry that into our days conversation, that vulnerability. Its good.

The early church (part 1)

I am really studying Acts, the first church, how they acted, why, what affect it had on them and what affect that has on me and the church today… This is the outline of 2:43-47

They Performed Miracles…

All the Believers…
Met constantly
Shared everything they had
Sold possessions
Shared proceeds
Worshiped every day together
Met for Communion in homes
Shared meals
Had joy and generosity
All the while praising God
Enjoying goodwill of all people
Every day the Lord added to their group those that were being saved.

So of the things they did, sharing is the one most repetitive of the occurrences. As a community, they shared, it is as easy as that. They thought of others first and kept nothing to themselves. But the theme is worship. Sharing is a form of worship, corporate worship in the temple is a form of worship, communion is a form of worship, praising God, and enjoying people. Then after all the sharing and praising the Lord added to their group all that were being saved.

That’s it. They weren’t out evangelizing, or trying to mold to the culture. They weren’t creating appealing services or molding to what was cool. They were just being with God. From the overflow of their worship people were saved. People were drawn towards genuine joy, and that is what they had flowing from them.

I want that flowing from me. I want to stop my “saving expeditions” and be with God. I want to see people saved through my sharing and worshiping. That is what the early church did, right?

Bridging the gap that really isnt there

At 11:30 I went to my church for a Bar-B-Q. I walked in and seated myself at a table in which I was acquainted with only one person, a girl closest to my age. I began a discussion with the other members of the table on topics covering things like party lines, vacations and comic strips.

I ate a burger, fresh peppers and 3 different types of cake. It was all washed down by a cup of coffee that was probably decaffinated and much to lite. I smiled and laughed and had a great time. I was invited to hang out with my new friends bragged upon by my youth pastor.

It was one of the best Bar- B - Q's I have ever been to, probably the best church event I have attended since coming home. It was an event hosted by the Senior Citizens oh my church in their attempt to bridge the gap of generations. It worked.

We had worship time. For once, rather than having seperate servies for generations, we combinded them. We sang one modern worship song led by an alto on guitar, and then switched to 3 versed hymn led by a saprano on the piano. Everyone was respectful. Everyone sang what they knew, but we worshiped together the entire time.

I think this is what life is suppose to be. We wouldnt need to be reaching out it such modern ways as a generation if the previous generations embraced us as they did today. I didnt feel alone in my walk to love Jesus, I felt surrounded and uplifted and overjoyed. I hope we continue this into a constant re-occurance.

Next week when I see the sisters Helen andDorthy or either of their husbands for 52+ years, I will say "Hi" and give a hug, and try to embrace the small relationship that was started.

Be not Ashamed

"For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes..." (Romans 1:16)

I was looking up some verses for one of my friends and came across this. We are not to be ashamed of the Good News. Just like Peter, I would easily say "Lord, I would never deny you." But the truth is that I would probably be more prone to finish the story out the way Peter did... he denied him three times and was ashamed. But when Paul wrote this verse in Romans he was saying that he was not ashamed and was not going to be.

How easy it is in our comfort to be not ashamed, to almost let pride seep in when surrounded by Christians and church-going folk. But much more challenging is the game of "faith" when surrounded by those who understand not the morals for which we stand.

Hallajuah, Coke, Amen

Every location my travels take me I find a new language with new sounds, letters and voice inflections. Some languages sound similar to words I know, some languages are strictly foreign - but there are those languages and alphabets which mean nothing to me, which sound literally like baby gibberish and give me no hope of learning even the smallest jot or tiddle.

It is during these circumstances that I find myself out on the edge a little more than usual because I cant rely on my usual communication skills to get me by. I cant get lost and ask for directions or ask for help if I need it. I can sit in a public place and listen in on other conversations or read billboards or labels when I get bored. I cant even complete the simplest action of saying “thank you” or “I would like that please” or “stop here”. I cant utter anything that means something to the people in which I long to communicate with. At the grocery story I long to see lables which I recgonize, brands that look famaliar. I cant order anything at a resturarant except for one drink - Coca Cola. No matter where I have travled Coke is the universal drink. I drink it simply because I can ask for it. I can speak to a person in another language without needing assistance of a translator, that alone is worth drinking it for.

But there is a language louder than words, more universal and understandable by all. It is the language of love. They may not understand a sound that comes forth from my lips, but they see the smile they produce. I may not be able to verbalize my need for an item, but I can put my years of charades into practice. I cant say “sorry” for bumping into people or explain to the homeless person that I am not ignoring them by not wanting to give them money, but I don’t know what they are saying and I cant use words to tell them I dont have money.

When we go to churches though… there is a slightly brighter atmosphere. I can usually depict the word for Jesus be-it Jesit or Jesu or something along those lines. In every song I can pick out the one word that I know, the one word that sounds familiar to me and has meaning in my mind. The word I can speak and have the party in front of me understand. I can feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in the room, but suddenly, when the word is spoken I feel connected to the other people as well. Together we can shout in loud voices “Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah Amen!”