Expansion Expanded

(For Harmony)

I grew up mesmerized with the missionaries who came clothed in colorful cloth. They came with seaweed and bamboo and silk. They had stories. I wanted to be them. So bad, I wanted to be them. So, I spent my life striving to be them. I mean after all, if I am willing to go to the Amazon and be shot by a native tribe, then the Lord must send me right?

I spent every single class period in Mr. Bentleys room all throughout Jr. High and Highschool staring out the window; looking towards the western hills that lead to the Pacific which lead to Asia, which lead to Africa. Every day was a new story I would dream up, I would be clothed in one of those magnificent outfits, changing the world for Jesus! If there was anything that the AG taught me, and taught me well, it was how to be passionate. I was 16 and GOING to take over the world for Jesus. I wanted to go anywhere but home.

September 21, 2007 – I arrived in Budapest, Hungary and began the journey I just KNEW God was calling me to. Overseas, it was the first step. I learned some things that I liked to do, but I found lots of things that I didn’t. I missed the culture I knew how to reach. I missed home and longed to one day go to Portland.

So then I go to China! And I spend two months mentally jotting down every motion of a missionaries wife'; wanting, waiting, longing to be her. I found the life to be no where near as exciting as I once thought, it was still life. I also found the mission to be much harder than I thought.

On the way home from that trip, my sister told me it was time for me to go to school. And I was just in this place that I said “OK.” So I picked Multnomah because it was close to Grammy and the church Nick and Mandy were planting. And I enrolled in the intercultural program, because you get to spend a semester abroad … and that is what I am to do … right?

Here we are at the now part. The where I am at the present and where I am going with the future. The who I am and who I desire to become. I am serving at this church, and we are small. Smaller than the small church I grew up in. And I love it. I love it more than I think I have ever loved anything. We are full of inconsistency and hurt and needs. But, our joy and giving and love exceeds all of these. We serve in a Multi-cultural neighborhood … did you see the word culture? Yeah, I just saw it too. I think that is the key here.

Everything I study at school, everything I have learned about missions and cultures and fundraising – it applies right here! It applies more to this neighborhood than to anything else. I know my culture, and I can help teach it to someone else, and my studies of how to relate to them … that helps me …. HERE.

For the first time in my life I am truly content being exactly where I am. This is where I am serving. This is where I want to serve. This is where I want to stay. Who I am depends on who I allow myself to be in the Lord. Where I am allows me to delight in him more than if I were anywhere else. This is how I know I am to be here. Check out this old post to see more of why I delight in him.

So the question of do I have the courage to expand my life? I think I do … because I believe I am doing it right now.

Women Shepherd

One of my Co-workers asked when I am going back to school and what I want to be and stuff. I told her of my Missionary work in Europe and of how I wanted to be a Pastor.

"You can have a woman pastor?" She asked with astonishing surprise

"Yes." I responded. "Women can be pastors."

"Oh. I didnt know that."

I thought it all very funny. She was catholic and in her mind men were priests and that was that. I was saddened thought that she didnt know, that she wasnt familiar with Christ. Maybe we can talk again. It got me thinking about what a pastor is: one who shepherds the sheep. So I guess that would already make me one. Nuns are missionaries and shepherds and mothers - it is just the role of a woman, to shepherd.

I was taken back the the story of Debroah (in Kings?) and how mighty a woman led men. I wonder, how many men asked "A woman can lead a battle?"

"Yes, A woman can lead a battle."

In her case, she did so because the King (Barak?) was to cowardly to lead without her, but she lead nonetheless. It was surprising then, and I suppose it is surprising today.

I dont know what the point of any of this is, and I am deffinatly not trying to make a theological statement or change the story of Deborah to fit what I want it to say, it was just what I was thinking about.