Brother Lawrence

Nick loaned me this book. And it is good. Really Good. I’ve been challenged and just finished reading it for the second time this week, and just bought my own copy so I can return Nicks and start marking up my own! You should buy a copy here for $3.64 and read it for yourself! Brother Lawrence lived like 300 years ago, and his sole purpose was to be in Gods presence. He did not see the difference between working, praying or sleeping. He worked to think on NOTHING but God. Here are just a few excerpts from his book …

If the vessel of our soul is still being tossed by winds or storms, we should wake the Lord who has been resting with us all along, and He will swiftly calm the sea. … I honestly cannot understand how people who claim to love the Lord can be content without practicing His presence. … Although I beg Him to do whatever He wishes with me, He does nothing but caress me. … once we get to know Him, we will think about Him even more often, because where our treasure is, there also is our heart! … Because of all He is to us, we owe Him our thoughts, words, and actions.”

Expansion Expanded

(For Harmony)

I grew up mesmerized with the missionaries who came clothed in colorful cloth. They came with seaweed and bamboo and silk. They had stories. I wanted to be them. So bad, I wanted to be them. So, I spent my life striving to be them. I mean after all, if I am willing to go to the Amazon and be shot by a native tribe, then the Lord must send me right?

I spent every single class period in Mr. Bentleys room all throughout Jr. High and Highschool staring out the window; looking towards the western hills that lead to the Pacific which lead to Asia, which lead to Africa. Every day was a new story I would dream up, I would be clothed in one of those magnificent outfits, changing the world for Jesus! If there was anything that the AG taught me, and taught me well, it was how to be passionate. I was 16 and GOING to take over the world for Jesus. I wanted to go anywhere but home.

September 21, 2007 – I arrived in Budapest, Hungary and began the journey I just KNEW God was calling me to. Overseas, it was the first step. I learned some things that I liked to do, but I found lots of things that I didn’t. I missed the culture I knew how to reach. I missed home and longed to one day go to Portland.

So then I go to China! And I spend two months mentally jotting down every motion of a missionaries wife'; wanting, waiting, longing to be her. I found the life to be no where near as exciting as I once thought, it was still life. I also found the mission to be much harder than I thought.

On the way home from that trip, my sister told me it was time for me to go to school. And I was just in this place that I said “OK.” So I picked Multnomah because it was close to Grammy and the church Nick and Mandy were planting. And I enrolled in the intercultural program, because you get to spend a semester abroad … and that is what I am to do … right?

Here we are at the now part. The where I am at the present and where I am going with the future. The who I am and who I desire to become. I am serving at this church, and we are small. Smaller than the small church I grew up in. And I love it. I love it more than I think I have ever loved anything. We are full of inconsistency and hurt and needs. But, our joy and giving and love exceeds all of these. We serve in a Multi-cultural neighborhood … did you see the word culture? Yeah, I just saw it too. I think that is the key here.

Everything I study at school, everything I have learned about missions and cultures and fundraising – it applies right here! It applies more to this neighborhood than to anything else. I know my culture, and I can help teach it to someone else, and my studies of how to relate to them … that helps me …. HERE.

For the first time in my life I am truly content being exactly where I am. This is where I am serving. This is where I want to serve. This is where I want to stay. Who I am depends on who I allow myself to be in the Lord. Where I am allows me to delight in him more than if I were anywhere else. This is how I know I am to be here. Check out this old post to see more of why I delight in him.

So the question of do I have the courage to expand my life? I think I do … because I believe I am doing it right now.

Expansion

“Life shrinks or expands according to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin

For my Birthday Justine gave me a journal in which she inserted scriptures and quotations every few pages. I love as I turn the page to write, that I find something inspiring already written. I am always caught aghast when they are fitting to what I am writing. 

I write of my future and present. What I am and what I will become.  Of What I do and what I wish to do. How I see myself and who I really am. Do I have the courage to expand my life?

Mr. Sun

He came. I met him. He woke me up this morning with a gentle voice of repetitive rhythm. He is warm and engulfing and understanding. He came with Coffee. He spent the morning on the porch with me. We listened to music. We watched the clouds roll by and the birds carry worms to their young.  We are going to spend the whole day together he and I. Tonight, he goes away, but with a promise of a morning return. Oh how much I need him!

1190

Your listening to 1190, KEX, Home of Rush Limbaugh. and  Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Your one stop stop for traffic/news/weather together. Brining you the best, when you need to hear it.

I feel hot. But the cold can of Mt. Dew between my legs is numbing my thighs. I smell sour cream and onion ruffles. I want  to ask if I will be getting a “youllsee” today.I am sitting in the front seat! After all, a truck only has one seat.  My seatbelt is sticky and there are sunflower seeds stuck to my salt water sandals. My fingers are fiddling with some pocket knife that I can open but not close.

I am with my Daddy. We are running errunds. Checking on a job site. And stopping at the grocery store to pick up more than the needed items. And its wonderful.

I listen to KEX now in the afternoons to check my traffic/news and weather together … And I think I am still that little girl. I am still sitting in the front seat and wondering if I will get myself a “youll see.”  Its just a little different. Thank you KEX. And, Thank you Daddy.

#6

I finished the Anne of Green Gables Series. It took me about a year and a half, because I had to slowly track down and purchase the series book by book, I own all but one – I borrowed that one from Harmony. I even read the pre-quil, written by L.M. Montgomerys Grandson. And I read the Last book, The Road to Yesterday. The last book is not always included in series because it does not focus on the main characters but rather others from the Community.

My favorite of the books was #4, Anne of Windy Poplars. Montgomery wrote this book 20 years after she finished the series because her readers wanted more detail. It is a book of letters between Anne and Gilbert from the 3 years they were apart before marriage. This book, more than the others really focuses on their characters. After this book, Gilberts Character all but disappears.

I am glad to have read the series so spread out, it helped me not get caught up in the unreality of it. Because no mom, Anne is not real. :) I deeply appreciate this series and feel that every girl should read it.

My conclusions :

Having the middle name Anne is pretty cool.

Some day I want to name my son Blythe.

The cookbook with recipes from the book is really cool. (Thanks Sarah!)

The movies are really true to the works.

Oh, and I didn’t tell you the best part! Did you know that Anne and I share the same Birthday? March 5. I knew we were Kindred Spirits! After I read this and screamed, I called my mom and told her the coolest thing ever happened! Her response? “Honey, cooler things will come.” Yes mom, cooler things will come, but this one is pretty cool.

Summer, where for art thou?

Happy First Day of Summer. You know, Summer. A.K.A – A time when it is hot, the months between June and September. Sunshine, skirts and ice cream trucks. Swimming pools, bike riding and cold pasta salads. Well, here in the grand old North West we have experienced all of the above minus the sunshine and the heat. I heard that Portland Parks and Rec opened the public swimming pools today and despite the 62 degree overcast day, they were filled. I wear skirts – with leggings. I hear the ice cream truck roll drearily by. I ride my bike through puddles and eat cold pasta salad – inside.

I heard on the radio last week that we were to the point where even the die hard, rain loving Oregonians were allowed to be a little upset. Let me tell you, this brought me great relief. I have felt that my utter devotion and optimism to year round rain had to continue, but now I have an excuse! Did you know that on June 2 we surpassed the normal rainfall for May and June Combined? We set a new record. Every day since then we have just been adding to it.

Today was also he longest day of the year; they start getting shorter from here. That makes me sad. As I was driving over the Markum bridge tonight, looking west I saw a sliver of blue, of light. “Well, there is my longest day.” Other than that sliver, they sky was grey and filled with soggy clouds.

I remember being little and being so totally mesmerized with the longest day of the year, the first day of summer. I would wear shorts no matter the temperature. Yes Mom, I wore Capri’s today – I just couldn’t bring myself to do Jeans. But I remember one year on Wood Wind when my mom said I could stay up and play outside until it was dark – on the longest day of the year! It was so exciting. I ran around as Matthew and the other cold-a-sac boys played basketball with their shirts off. (that itself is an entirely different blog about why I was so frustrated that they could be shirtless and I could not! I mean hey, I was like 4.) We didn't go inside until close to 11 that night, you know, when the last sliver of blue disappeared.

Well, Summer, I know you are out the somewhere. I think you are Colorado. Please come, and then disappear when school starts, because it is so dreadfully hot in the dorms when it is 90 degrees … but I wont complain if you stay. Just come.

What I am … not.

You know those people who like to be in the middle of the group? The center of the crowd? I don’t really like those people very much. But, I find that very often I am that person. Proverbs talks about the gentle and quiet spirit of a woman. I really enjoy being that woman more, you know?

My Field

You might recall this post, about my field. Well, like two weeks ago I decided to go to it. And there was a house. In my field. The construction crew were out there, pounding away. In my field. I want to run to them and scream and tell them that they were building in my field, trespassing on my land. But that was not so. I had to let them build that house right there in  my field. The kitchen was atop my little hill. With windows overlooking my railroad tracks and wheat fields and endless skies. But, it really wasn’t mine.

Today, I found a new field. It almost equals my other field. but this field runs under the power lines and is in a preserved area, I don’t think there is much chance of a house being build here. Thank you God, for my field.

Facebooks Eye

In the movie Eagle Eye, there was this one mega computer that controlled and knew of every electronic communication devise. It could had hundreds of thousands of sensors that could communicate with or track people down through anything, billboards, cell phones and public computers. It was super creepy because the military created it to help monitor, but it ended up taking over!

Now to my point. This morning I was on CNN, seeing that it is my homepage, and all of a sudden it tells me of some video that Nick Mucci likes. On CNN. Granted, the video was pretty cool. But why did CNN tell me about something he liked? What if I didn’t to know? Is that an option? NO!

Then like 10 minutes later my Pandora told me that Sally DeBous like the artist I was listening to. At first I thought, “that’s cool.” Then I thought, “Why does Pandora know that???” Again, another website using my facebook friends and telling me things about them when I am not on facebook! Did you know that you can listen to your friends playlists from your Pandora without them knowing? Yeah, creepy.

Now, when I am on Facebook, I expect to hear things about people, to discover their likes and dislikes, but when I don’t want to know, I don’t go on it. But now I am finding out, that I will find out whether I want to or not! Whether I go on facebook or not! Now, I like people. But I am kinda weirded out by all this. I mean, there is a point where even an extreme extravert wants to not know things about other people! Is the Eagle Eye taking over? Hmmm.

Peanut butter and Banana Quesadilla

With honey and Cinnamon. Mmmmmm.