Ok so after the day I went to coffee with my group of friends and it was jus really nice. We were sitting around sipping chai and hot chocolate and discusing the falling maturity of our generation. Things dont apply to us anymore because we are beyond them. We are further than the youth pastors expect us to be, we are at a deeper level then everybody else...
But we concluded that we are not necessarily stronger than the other students, we are merely where we should be and they are far behind eating from the hands of bottle feeding pastors. That sounds so terribly dis-respectful from my side, and I dont necessarily intend it to be, but we reached a sad reality that so few are where they should be with God. I mean, my group of 7, we are striving after God and are much deeper than so many others - but we have so far to go to be where we need to be.... how far away does that make everyone else?
I was really shown the importance of equal leveled fellowship, our souls thrive for it. Even though some of the party were ready to head home for the night... we stayed and talked of Gods goodness... because he is good. We shared of things he is teaching us and training us and of where we need to be. It was just nice because it doesnt happen as often as it should.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Dear Lavinia - SYATP part 2
I was thinking about you tonight, it was good stuff and so I thought I would share....
I know you are romanian and that some of the amazing american things I write on hear sound apealing, and if I described to you in outside words the service I was at tonight, you would want to come and attend it with me during the trip when you will come visit me. But after tonight... I hope I never have to take you to a christian service here.
I cant desribe to you the Christian social attitude that has been adapted by teenagers, by youth pastors. It all sounds good cause it is suppose to. It is meant to be appealing, but where is the meat? The preaching was sound... but simple, low. Students were disrespectful and disgraceful. I was embarrassed and shamed. I cant believe this is my society.
I hope you dont have to see the "christian crowd" of young people who look cute and have matching hair, tight jeans and skull t-shirts cause they are "hard core" for Jesus. The crowd that thinks it is cool to be part of a christian club or something. The crowd that takes the name I revere so intimatly and slauter it to my peers.
Mind you that not all christians are this way, not all services are bad, not all christians look alike. I have a negative biased opinion tonight and wanted to express it to you because I was thinking about you.
What we have is programs. What you have, what I loved so much about Romania, is life. There are pros and cons to each, tonight I saw a con.
SYATP
Today was See-You-At-The-Pole... it made me pretty angry. I always start these days excited, but end somewhat discouraged. Lauren Barker and I (both alumni) met with Sharell Zier and a random youth pastor at my past high schools flag pole this morning at 7 am. We had a good time of worship and fellowship.... I just wonder why no one else could come. I didnt need the support, but I know God sure would have loved the praise. For being a Christian school... I thought that more than one student would show.
Its not like the day was forgotten, students knew. Even as they began to arrive at school, they walked past, talking loudly.... none joining. I got really annoyed. "The Nerve!" I guess we, they take prayer for granted. We can do it all the time. They pray in classes, but I just wish it was stressed more. I wish students wanted the change they claim. I wish that I was not alone looking like the crazy alumni who cant get off her campus. I can! I just believe that God wants to move in and through that school... and I am not going to school so I needed a flag pole this morning. Is that ok?
Its not like the day was forgotten, students knew. Even as they began to arrive at school, they walked past, talking loudly.... none joining. I got really annoyed. "The Nerve!" I guess we, they take prayer for granted. We can do it all the time. They pray in classes, but I just wish it was stressed more. I wish students wanted the change they claim. I wish that I was not alone looking like the crazy alumni who cant get off her campus. I can! I just believe that God wants to move in and through that school... and I am not going to school so I needed a flag pole this morning. Is that ok?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Bridging
It has been one year since I last saw my baby blanket before it mysteriously and tragically dissapeared. Since I was still considered a "graduate", I lived in the big bedroom and before my pasport had many stamps. Since I was part of youth group and wore my favorite purple/red shirt that also mysteriously and tragically disspeared (not near as tragic as the baby blanket forever lost with the dryer socks. ) Its been a year since wanting to simplify my life and now actually having it simplified.
It was this thursday last year that I was on an airplane to Budapest Hungary - a place forlorn to my mind. Exactly 365 days ago, to this very hour, I was sitting on an airplane, not sleeping, but waiting, wishing, listening. I dont remember much of that trip, I didnt journal during it or about it, I think my anticipation of the coming days made time pass rather quickly. I do remember that last week home though.... more vivedly than maybe any other, even one of being gone... But today, one year ago, that week was over.
It seems like a long year ago, I guess it was... but six months doesnt seem far from now - not as far as those six months were. How so very different I am today than I was last year. Those anticipated experiences are now past experiences, what a grasping concept. I am sure many of you are tired of me talking about "my trip," but it was a big part of my life, it was my life, and it affects my life still...
I feel I have grown emensly, I jumped out of an airplane so to speak, a jump that took loads of faith, I landed on a bridge, the chain bridge to be exact. That bridge spoke to me and stretched me and moved me. And when I passed it a final time something in me was stiring - and it has been churning ever since. It keeps speaking to me, and wouldnt you know I came home and joined a college group called "The Bridge." Ya, seriously.
I am excited about this bridge too. I took my big adventure, got it out of my system in a way, and now I am home, to dwell and think and be.
What will I be writing today next year?
It was this thursday last year that I was on an airplane to Budapest Hungary - a place forlorn to my mind. Exactly 365 days ago, to this very hour, I was sitting on an airplane, not sleeping, but waiting, wishing, listening. I dont remember much of that trip, I didnt journal during it or about it, I think my anticipation of the coming days made time pass rather quickly. I do remember that last week home though.... more vivedly than maybe any other, even one of being gone... But today, one year ago, that week was over.
It seems like a long year ago, I guess it was... but six months doesnt seem far from now - not as far as those six months were. How so very different I am today than I was last year. Those anticipated experiences are now past experiences, what a grasping concept. I am sure many of you are tired of me talking about "my trip," but it was a big part of my life, it was my life, and it affects my life still...
I feel I have grown emensly, I jumped out of an airplane so to speak, a jump that took loads of faith, I landed on a bridge, the chain bridge to be exact. That bridge spoke to me and stretched me and moved me. And when I passed it a final time something in me was stiring - and it has been churning ever since. It keeps speaking to me, and wouldnt you know I came home and joined a college group called "The Bridge." Ya, seriously.
I am excited about this bridge too. I took my big adventure, got it out of my system in a way, and now I am home, to dwell and think and be.
What will I be writing today next year?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Expectations.
I was talking to Jessica Henson today about expectations. We get so pre-occupied with what expectations have been placed upon us that we forget to be expectant ourselves. We feel the need to live up to expectations, but we forget to live in expectancy of God. The Bible teaches us to live in "eager expectancy" ( Philippians 1:20 ) ... but that verb changes forms when we live eager to fulfill expecations. This is not a study I did, I didnt look up verses and such, but I think it is good be be expecatnt of God and not as worried about fulfilling expectations.
Trinity and Us
At college group we are going through the video series the Truth Project. It is really amazingly enlightening. I was quite cold to the idea of watching a video series when I first heard of it... but it stretches my mind, I guess that is what it is suppose to do. Anyways...
Tonight there was a really interesting point made, I want to research it more but it intrigued me none the less. There is the trinity GOD-JESUS-HOLYSPIRIT (HS) . Then when Christ assended to Heaven he sent us the HS to be with us always. ( John 16:5-7 )The HS is in us. So... Because the HS is in us, and he is part of the 3 part trinity, we are with God too. The New Testament is so full of references to being ONE. One with God, one with another... So the HS is what brings us into that closer relationship. Jesus intercedes for us to God, the HS leads us in pray to God. We are in God cause we are in the HS. So we are that close, that intimate. Like one of my favorite worship songs goes, "sometimes you are closer than my skin." It is literally true.
Tonight there was a really interesting point made, I want to research it more but it intrigued me none the less. There is the trinity GOD-JESUS-HOLYSPIRIT (HS) . Then when Christ assended to Heaven he sent us the HS to be with us always. ( John 16:5-7 )The HS is in us. So... Because the HS is in us, and he is part of the 3 part trinity, we are with God too. The New Testament is so full of references to being ONE. One with God, one with another... So the HS is what brings us into that closer relationship. Jesus intercedes for us to God, the HS leads us in pray to God. We are in God cause we are in the HS. So we are that close, that intimate. Like one of my favorite worship songs goes, "sometimes you are closer than my skin." It is literally true.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Women Shepherd
One of my Co-workers asked when I am going back to school and what I want to be and stuff. I told her of my Missionary work in Europe and of how I wanted to be a Pastor.
"You can have a woman pastor?" She asked with astonishing surprise
"Yes." I responded. "Women can be pastors."
"Oh. I didnt know that."
I thought it all very funny. She was catholic and in her mind men were priests and that was that. I was saddened thought that she didnt know, that she wasnt familiar with Christ. Maybe we can talk again. It got me thinking about what a pastor is: one who shepherds the sheep. So I guess that would already make me one. Nuns are missionaries and shepherds and mothers - it is just the role of a woman, to shepherd.
I was taken back the the story of Debroah (in Kings?) and how mighty a woman led men. I wonder, how many men asked "A woman can lead a battle?"
"Yes, A woman can lead a battle."
In her case, she did so because the King (Barak?) was to cowardly to lead without her, but she lead nonetheless. It was surprising then, and I suppose it is surprising today.
I dont know what the point of any of this is, and I am deffinatly not trying to make a theological statement or change the story of Deborah to fit what I want it to say, it was just what I was thinking about.
"You can have a woman pastor?" She asked with astonishing surprise
"Yes." I responded. "Women can be pastors."
"Oh. I didnt know that."
I thought it all very funny. She was catholic and in her mind men were priests and that was that. I was saddened thought that she didnt know, that she wasnt familiar with Christ. Maybe we can talk again. It got me thinking about what a pastor is: one who shepherds the sheep. So I guess that would already make me one. Nuns are missionaries and shepherds and mothers - it is just the role of a woman, to shepherd.
I was taken back the the story of Debroah (in Kings?) and how mighty a woman led men. I wonder, how many men asked "A woman can lead a battle?"
"Yes, A woman can lead a battle."
In her case, she did so because the King (Barak?) was to cowardly to lead without her, but she lead nonetheless. It was surprising then, and I suppose it is surprising today.
I dont know what the point of any of this is, and I am deffinatly not trying to make a theological statement or change the story of Deborah to fit what I want it to say, it was just what I was thinking about.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Stories
Ok so I suppose I am long overdue at writing, I have the urges of those who actually read this upon me - and it is nice, I like that people read what I write. I know that someday when I write a book they will buy one, well they wont need to cause I will give them one... but they will buy 20 and give them to everyone they know. That is why I love the people who read my blog.
Its my mom and my sister who urge me to write so, to follow this passion in my soul, the longing of my fingers to flow. They write poetry, as do I... I guess it is just what we do. We have stories, we live them, and we tell them. We see the importance of listening to each others, because our stories are important to others stories. A single story with one character would be quite slow, that is why our stories intermix, and weave and blend.
We really are alive to live out and tell the greatest story ever told! Our stories are meant to fashion after his! I guess all this to say: I have a story and it needs to be told as I live it out - so thank you for reminding me of this.
Its my mom and my sister who urge me to write so, to follow this passion in my soul, the longing of my fingers to flow. They write poetry, as do I... I guess it is just what we do. We have stories, we live them, and we tell them. We see the importance of listening to each others, because our stories are important to others stories. A single story with one character would be quite slow, that is why our stories intermix, and weave and blend.
We really are alive to live out and tell the greatest story ever told! Our stories are meant to fashion after his! I guess all this to say: I have a story and it needs to be told as I live it out - so thank you for reminding me of this.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)