Bi-Yearly Joy

Justine and I have an unlikely friendship. We have bi-yearly dinner dates that last at least five hours. When we get together, we talk about everything, mainly how our lives revolve around God, and what he is doing and how we can be more productive about getting where he wants us to be. We connect and find similarities and share our hearts. I wish we lived near each other, but for whatever reason, God thinks this relationships is best for now. All I know is that she is encouraging and a very much needed part of my life.

We met in Sunday School at peoples church when we were like four. We did missionettes with Kirsten. We went to Jamaica. Then she moved churches and we lost contact... until Facebook arrived and we found each other: She was in Germany and I was in Hungary. I lives intercepted again when we both returned home, lost and searching for the next part of our lives. We get together and eat ethnic foods, tonight she introduced me to Sushi. We partake in multiple course meals. We lament on how we wish we were MK's. Tonight we compared ourselves to literary characters. Her being most like Laura Ingles, myself most like Josephine March. We are expressive and loud water gulpers.

I shared with Justine what God really taught me this week, I think he has been trying to teach me for a long time. We have heard that in our weakness we are made strong in him. I hear this and know this and try to accept this. Then I started putting it all together: "The Joy of the LORD is my strength." OK so, when we are weak, God is our strength. The strength comes in the form of his Joy. So our strength is joy. When we are weak, we can be joyful! This makes sense when Paul tells us to rejoice in trials and persecution. It is not fake happiness, it is Joy of the Lord despite our current situation! This is so pivotal! We become weak so often, but if we can have Joy in the Lord in the midst of weakness, we will be strong! I may be weak, but you can not steal my Joy!

Goodnight Justine, Thank you for letting me share this gibberish with you tonight. I loved our moving meal at Sushi, and Coffee House, and Sharri's.

My Birthday!

So, Yesterday was my birthday. It was one of the greatest days ever.

My cousin Amanda come down and spend the night with me the night before. I was so happy to see her! At 5:30 am, Abbey texted me and I was so excited that I just kept texting her till good after 6. Then I fell back asleep. At 7:11 Heather and Lauren and my Mom came prancing into my room singing "its your birthday, your 20, its your perfect day outside, its raining, its your birthday!" And they were throwing balloons - at Amanda. I had to sit up so they would see which lump in the bed I was. So then we exited the room seeing that Amanda had covered her head with blankets.

Lauren brought me 2 coffees from Starbucks, see bought me 1 but brought me 2. I was happy for coffee seeing I had had less that 5 hours sleep. Then Sharell showed up late and complained that Heather and Lauren did not inform her well enough of the mornings events. HA! So I sat around with them until they had to go to school.

I took work off for the whole day and was pretty excited. My Dad wanted to take me to breakfast but I wasn't feeling much for food seeing I had had Applebees the night before, 2 coffees for breakfast and was in the middle of trying to make a cheesecake. You can still take me out to breakfast Daddy!

Amanda woke up and told me she "hated" my friends for waking her so loudly so early in the morning, ah its all good Amanda.

Her and I got in the car, went to Starbucks (she got me a breakfast sandwich I was not about to have anymore coffee) And we made our way to the beach. I am always amazed at how short a trip it is . So just over an hour later, we arrived and made our way all through the outlet mall, taking stupid videos the whole time. ( I am working on putting all those videos together to put on here. Then I had Mo's for lunch. Yum! Clam chowder and Mashed potatoes (and enchiladas for dinner!) We touched the beach, but it was really cold, then we drove home

At home I started to try and finish my cheesecake, but it ended up a total disaster, it didn't cook all the way and the oven got turned off at some point during the cooking and ya, it was bad... but I will make it again. The the girls came over, Kirsten was my present. :) I put a bow on her. Oh and Amanda made Aaron come too. Always the guy with all the girls, but I miss him. Then Sharells car got Saran wrapped and they started to do the van but someone went outside and they went away. We think they were guys from school who knew where Sharell was... obviously high school guys who still think I drive my moms mini-van. Which I don't. (See blog about car. Which by the way, I did buy... I will pay it off in a few weeks!)

I talked to my sister on the phone. And mommy potter left me a great message on my phone. And Hallie, Esther and Zoe called me through skype and Zoe sang me the happy birthday song and ABC's (mixed which Chinese things) like 3 times! And I talked to my Grammy for 41 seconds and it made me super happy!

Hmmm it was happy. My mom absolutely loved having people over, and giving Aaron food, and listening to us all laugh from the other room. I got a super amazing orange chair, I think I am going to take the cushion back and get a green one though, it is much more practical... but for today I will enjoy the orange.

Thank you Jesus for days where we feel blessed, for days when you shower us with your goodness. I was amazed by your glory yesterday, the rain, the sun, the rainbow, the friends, the food, the happy feeling inside. I know that every day can be like the when I am with you, but thank you for making yesterday especially great.

Death is awkward.

I went to a funeral this week. I don't remember ever being to a funeral before. I think I might have been at my grandmas, but the only thing I remember about that day was riding in the limo with my Grandpa. I also think I was at my Uncle Charlies funeral a few years ago, I was so sick that weekend that I mentally wasn't there enough to remember it. I think I will remember this one for a long time.

Victor Hoffer died a week ago Friday in a car crash. Him and his new bride (only six weeks married) were on his way to his families house when he hit a slick part of the road and crashed into another car. I have only met Victor a few times. He was the much older brother of one of my once closest friends, Paul. When Heather told me what happened... I was shocked, I mean stuff like this happens to other people right? He was 31 and full of life.

I went to the funeral out of respect for Paul, for the family. I was amazed at how many other people did the same.... so many young people from school, students that may have never met Victor before - but were there for respect of the family that has been so involved in all of our lives. It really was a celebration of life, a life lived to the fullest. We sang hymns about heaven and of our glorious Lord, and heard how God hears the tears of those who weep.

It was when Paul spoke that I really listened up. He stood from his chair, slowly and gently letting go his grasp of both his parents hands. He raised the mic and said these short words....
"At my High school Graduation I spoke on living life to the fullest - Victors life was just that..." I was in that graduation, I was one of the students he spoke to, and I was here to hear part two of that speech, neither of which he probably wanted to give. His speech is complete now in my mind and cemented with a visual that surpasses all else. What he was talking about was real - and achievable.

After the ceremony, and the funeral procession, we returned to the church for "refreshments." We walked through the door and Kirsten gave Lynell (Paul and Victors mom) a hug and said to her "How are you?" she just kinda shrugged and smiled. We walked on and Kirsten shook her head and looked at me.... "that was a stupid thing to say. I cant believe I just asked her how she was. That was really awkward." Heather Kirsten and I stood around not knowing what else to do. It was awkward. We wanted to talk to Paul, we had nothing to say, nothing that wouldn't be awkward. We haven't talked in like a year anyway. We didn't say anything... I guess either way, it was awkward.

Later as I was thinking about it I decided that death is awkward. It is suppose to be awkward. Although it is a part of life and we all experience it and can expect it - it will always be awkward. God didn't create the world to have death, and anything apart from God is awkward because his presence is absent. So I decided that it is OK for death to be awkward, and there is nothing much we can do to make it less so... because God is life. So in that respect, I will celebrate life.

SYATP - part 3

Ok so after the day I went to coffee with my group of friends and it was jus really nice. We were sitting around sipping chai and hot chocolate and discusing the falling maturity of our generation. Things dont apply to us anymore because we are beyond them. We are further than the youth pastors expect us to be, we are at a deeper level then everybody else...

But we concluded that we are not necessarily stronger than the other students, we are merely where we should be and they are far behind eating from the hands of bottle feeding pastors. That sounds so terribly dis-respectful from my side, and I dont necessarily intend it to be, but we reached a sad reality that so few are where they should be with God. I mean, my group of 7, we are striving after God and are much deeper than so many others - but we have so far to go to be where we need to be.... how far away does that make everyone else?

I was really shown the importance of equal leveled fellowship, our souls thrive for it. Even though some of the party were ready to head home for the night... we stayed and talked of Gods goodness... because he is good. We shared of things he is teaching us and training us and of where we need to be. It was just nice because it doesnt happen as often as it should.

Concerts

i normally hate concerts. i dont know what it is about them, but i just get non-interested once i show up. i dont like "getting into it" or whatever. i normally get sidetracked in my thoughts and think or something and am blammed for being a party pooper.

tonight i went to a Jars of Clay concert, cause it was free. i didnt really want to go just cause i know i hate concerts, but i tried to have a really optimistic attitude, besides i went with like my three best friends: Heather Potter, Kirsten Wicks and Lauren Barker.

i had fun tonight. i choose to sing the songs i know and not have a bad attitude. it is cool to hear music live, but i didnt really catch any of their lyrics. i really just like to people watch.

there is something about concerts that makes people want to dance. maybe that is there only time that they get their jiggles out, because some people sure do jig. an older couple there were line dancing, to a song that deffinatly had no line rythm. a hippish woman was dancing, twirling her arms and letting her feet sway back and forth. she was freen and beaming ear to ear. kids were spinning and jumping and shouting... it was like chains were breaking lose. i dont know if they were christians, or if they were dancing out of worship or entertainment... but i do know that music creates a natural, physical desire to dance.

so despite the badly dressed mid-aged dancers, and the high pitched screaming jr. high girls... despite all the things i hate about concerts, i loved that tonight it was just a big party, families dancing. to me, that was cool.