Women Shepherd

One of my Co-workers asked when I am going back to school and what I want to be and stuff. I told her of my Missionary work in Europe and of how I wanted to be a Pastor.

"You can have a woman pastor?" She asked with astonishing surprise

"Yes." I responded. "Women can be pastors."

"Oh. I didnt know that."

I thought it all very funny. She was catholic and in her mind men were priests and that was that. I was saddened thought that she didnt know, that she wasnt familiar with Christ. Maybe we can talk again. It got me thinking about what a pastor is: one who shepherds the sheep. So I guess that would already make me one. Nuns are missionaries and shepherds and mothers - it is just the role of a woman, to shepherd.

I was taken back the the story of Debroah (in Kings?) and how mighty a woman led men. I wonder, how many men asked "A woman can lead a battle?"

"Yes, A woman can lead a battle."

In her case, she did so because the King (Barak?) was to cowardly to lead without her, but she lead nonetheless. It was surprising then, and I suppose it is surprising today.

I dont know what the point of any of this is, and I am deffinatly not trying to make a theological statement or change the story of Deborah to fit what I want it to say, it was just what I was thinking about.

Stories

Ok so I suppose I am long overdue at writing, I have the urges of those who actually read this upon me - and it is nice, I like that people read what I write. I know that someday when I write a book they will buy one, well they wont need to cause I will give them one... but they will buy 20 and give them to everyone they know. That is why I love the people who read my blog.

Its my mom and my sister who urge me to write so, to follow this passion in my soul, the longing of my fingers to flow. They write poetry, as do I... I guess it is just what we do. We have stories, we live them, and we tell them. We see the importance of listening to each others, because our stories are important to others stories. A single story with one character would be quite slow, that is why our stories intermix, and weave and blend.

We really are alive to live out and tell the greatest story ever told! Our stories are meant to fashion after his! I guess all this to say: I have a story and it needs to be told as I live it out - so thank you for reminding me of this.

First Half a Car

I got a car. Kinda. I am hoping to buy it and am working on a few month "holding process" type deal, where I get to drive it and pay for it and decide if I have enough money to buy it type of thing. It is really cool because I wasnt really looking for a car and it is just a blessing. So although the registeration is not in my name, this is the car I drive.

Pure Hearts

"Who may climb the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place? Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies. They will receive the LORDS blessing and have right standing with God their savior. They alone may enter God's presence and worship the God if Jacob." (Psalm 24:3-6)

"Blessed are the pure of heart, for the will see God." (Matthew 5:8)

Every day cries fly toward heaven asking, begging to see God. We want Gods blessing, we want to stand right with him and be covered in his presence and own his intimacy, but we cant. He wants to be first in our life, to be the only love.

We will see him when we purify our hearts, when we wipe out everything not of him. We will hear his voice when we push away all other thoughts, when we are purified. We can not serve to masters, therefore since he is pure,we must be pure.

The enemy attacks us in the areas that could be most powerful, he wants to take us down in our strengths. Purity is so important to God, to our relationship with him, that is why the enemy is attacking it in our generation so strongly. He wants so bad to take it down, to stop us from intimacy and purity. He knows the danger of us having pure hearts. SO LETS HAVE THEM!!!

I want to see God, I want to assend the Hill of the LORD and enter his presence. If this can only be done by me purifying myself, then I will keep purifying till I find that which I seek.

Singleness

Singleness is a gift that so many fail to grasp. As humans we strive to go from childhood straight into marriage. Toddlers imitate their parents, girls dream, boys try to become men. T.V. shows circle around the idea of relationships aimed at younger and younger audiences. Dating is just part of “something we do.” Marriages all around are falling apart, but with today’s legalists, divorce is just as easy and free from “guilt” If by the time you are 14 and you have not dated, you are probably labeled a “dork.” If still single by 17 you’re a loser.” And if you make it to keeping your virginity by 19, you are simply “gay.”
To stay away from label’s, people just get in relationships because it is the thing to do. Because we don’t know anything else. Because if we don’t we are a dorky, gay loser. Girls from around the globe are struggling with self worth and self confidence. They are cutting themselves and selling themselves and giving up on themselves because they cant handle the pressures of the world. FALSE PRESSURES. They deal with shame. Shame is a false feeling, it is self imposed. Guilt is an accurate portrayal of remorse for our wrong actions, shame is just wallowing in the enemies lies.
What if… singleness wasn’t bad? If, being a dorky gay loser… was ok? What if the world was actually wrong? What if there was a cure to the sweeping epidemic among especially girls?
Well, singleness isn’t bad, in fact… Paul sees it as freedom. Elisabeth Elliot sees it as a gift. I see it as, an overlooked season of life. There is a cure and his name is Jesus. This Jesus desires intimacy with us in a deeper sense than any physical relationship will ever bring. This Jesus wants to whisper in our ear and whisk us off our feet! He is one that will NEVER let us down, will never lie, will never be false imposed. He wont stand us up or say the wrong words or be stupid or shove you aside or take advantage of you. Oh no, not my Jesus. My Jesus wants to be your hero, to be your everlasting protector and provider. He wants to be the one to build you as you build yourself.
Paul writes about Marriage and Singleness many times, his view was that he wishes all could be single so that they could further the Kingdom of Heaven without further distractions, but if because of our physical desires we must marry, then we should marry within the bounderies of Gods love. Paul says that a woman who is not married can be more devoted to the Lord with her body and spirit because of her time and focuses.
Even though I don’t feel called to a life of singleness (as some are) I know that I am single right now, I am alone without a mate for this season of my life, and I am not going to go looking because I know that this single season is more than special. I am still developing and I want Jesus to be the one molding me, not some guy. I know that soooo many girls struggle with longing for marriage because we see it as whats next… but lets enjoy what we have now. Come on, God has taken us this far, I can guarantee that he will not forget about us and let us mold into cranky spinsters. If he has not spoken to you abut singleness, then you will marry, and he has one for you to marry… he has him, which means you don’t have to go get him. We don’t have to be urgent because he’s not either.
I am not telling anyone not to date, even if you are dating, see your singleness of not marriage as a gift. You still have time now that you wont have someday when that ring shines on your finger. Lets grasp these years and milk them. Lets teach little girls about their worth and not let them fall into our traps. Lets embrace our singleness and fly.

“… In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be more devoted to the Lord in body and in spirit, while the married woman must be concerned about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.” ( I Corinthians 7:34)

I claim the victory

Tonight I was talking to Anna Biddason on skype for a long time and we had a great conversation, so I took the stuff I wrote to her and turned it into a blog. Cause I thought other people besides her might like to read it.

Every day I struggle with myself. It is so weird, either I am losing my mind or God is capturing it. (I like to think upon the latter) I really believe that the enemy has a strong hold of Confusion over much of our generation. So many young people just "now knowing" what they are doing. Too many times is the phrase “I don’t know” uttered among my friends. With those I am with… we want to know, but don’t. There are too many others that have simply stopped seeking because they got tired of not finding.

I keep studying the scripture that says "I am the good shepherd and the sheep know the shepherds voice" then I cry out "Lord, you are my shepherd, why do I not recognize your voice outside of the wolf?"

so I am starting to claim my mind in Jesus name, I am claiming that the enemy does not have a hold on me because I think he is trying so hard to hold me back from what God has.

I have been trying to just see into the spiritual realm. "God what are you doing?" If I cant tell, then I try to recognize where I am being attacked, where I am weak. Those are the points that God is trying to strengthen. The very spots that we feel fading are the ones God is trying to brighten. The enemy always attacks before the climax, I believe. He gives one final oomph attempt before giving up. he is so scared of what we can do in the name of Jesus that he waits to see where god is going to strengthen us, then tries to attack in those areas thinking he can pull us down.... what he doesn’t realize is that once God starts to strengthen us, we already have God on our side and he will lose.

It is a battle we have already won if we will just claim the victory. If we will just recognize that the battle is there in the first place. How can we win if we don’t know we are fighting?

So I say, “the victory is mine in Christ!”
I say, “Confusion, you are NO MORE!”
I say, “God I know your voice!”

The victory is mine. Confusion is gone. I hear Gods voice