Singleness

Singleness is a gift that so many fail to grasp. As humans we strive to go from childhood straight into marriage. Toddlers imitate their parents, girls dream, boys try to become men. T.V. shows circle around the idea of relationships aimed at younger and younger audiences. Dating is just part of “something we do.” Marriages all around are falling apart, but with today’s legalists, divorce is just as easy and free from “guilt” If by the time you are 14 and you have not dated, you are probably labeled a “dork.” If still single by 17 you’re a loser.” And if you make it to keeping your virginity by 19, you are simply “gay.”
To stay away from label’s, people just get in relationships because it is the thing to do. Because we don’t know anything else. Because if we don’t we are a dorky, gay loser. Girls from around the globe are struggling with self worth and self confidence. They are cutting themselves and selling themselves and giving up on themselves because they cant handle the pressures of the world. FALSE PRESSURES. They deal with shame. Shame is a false feeling, it is self imposed. Guilt is an accurate portrayal of remorse for our wrong actions, shame is just wallowing in the enemies lies.
What if… singleness wasn’t bad? If, being a dorky gay loser… was ok? What if the world was actually wrong? What if there was a cure to the sweeping epidemic among especially girls?
Well, singleness isn’t bad, in fact… Paul sees it as freedom. Elisabeth Elliot sees it as a gift. I see it as, an overlooked season of life. There is a cure and his name is Jesus. This Jesus desires intimacy with us in a deeper sense than any physical relationship will ever bring. This Jesus wants to whisper in our ear and whisk us off our feet! He is one that will NEVER let us down, will never lie, will never be false imposed. He wont stand us up or say the wrong words or be stupid or shove you aside or take advantage of you. Oh no, not my Jesus. My Jesus wants to be your hero, to be your everlasting protector and provider. He wants to be the one to build you as you build yourself.
Paul writes about Marriage and Singleness many times, his view was that he wishes all could be single so that they could further the Kingdom of Heaven without further distractions, but if because of our physical desires we must marry, then we should marry within the bounderies of Gods love. Paul says that a woman who is not married can be more devoted to the Lord with her body and spirit because of her time and focuses.
Even though I don’t feel called to a life of singleness (as some are) I know that I am single right now, I am alone without a mate for this season of my life, and I am not going to go looking because I know that this single season is more than special. I am still developing and I want Jesus to be the one molding me, not some guy. I know that soooo many girls struggle with longing for marriage because we see it as whats next… but lets enjoy what we have now. Come on, God has taken us this far, I can guarantee that he will not forget about us and let us mold into cranky spinsters. If he has not spoken to you abut singleness, then you will marry, and he has one for you to marry… he has him, which means you don’t have to go get him. We don’t have to be urgent because he’s not either.
I am not telling anyone not to date, even if you are dating, see your singleness of not marriage as a gift. You still have time now that you wont have someday when that ring shines on your finger. Lets grasp these years and milk them. Lets teach little girls about their worth and not let them fall into our traps. Lets embrace our singleness and fly.

“… In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be more devoted to the Lord in body and in spirit, while the married woman must be concerned about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.” ( I Corinthians 7:34)