Of sick days and snow days.

I've been really sick. Head, nose, throat, glands, ears, eye. It made for... a very unproductive week, an application not finished, homework not touched, a snow storm only observed, a very used bed and many missed conversations I am sure.

But this week ... I've been really blown away by love. You know when you are little and you are at home and Mom takes care of you. There is a comfort level that is there, but it is backed by an ounce of expectancy - moms are suppose to do that. They almost enjoy a sick day home with us just because they get to dote on their "trying-to-be-so-very-independent-child." But when your at school, I came to expect a level of independence, I mean people my age are not suppose to take care of me ... right? Wrong. Were talking about the church here.

I am overwhelmed with the amount of love and care I have received in my just three days of being "out of commission." On Wednesday I had nine girls look me in the eye and promise them that I would let them know if I needed anything! My dishes were washed. My cups of tea were brewed. The last of the Christy Movies were brought from the library. I was sent to bed. I was handed ibuprofen. My cup of water was refilled and refilled and refilled. Jess covered my shift and sent me to bed. Amanda covered a shift and sent me to bed. Katie found someone to cover my late night shift because she knew I was too stubborn to ask. Oh friends, why are you so good?

Natalie T. came and hugged me close, knowing that I was contagious ... but touching me still. I felt at that moment like the leper healed by Jesus. I was unclean, untouchable ... and yet I was touched.

Natalie S. was my voice at Dorm Dinner. The girls told me to stay in bed, but I just wanted to be with them!

Angela watched The king and I with me. She sat with me cause I just needed someone around and was so tired of being alone in bed.

Then, around midnight, I could not sleep! "God, I know you are here, among even this. What do you have in store? How can I see you and learn from you??" I texted Ang, Chels and Katie and they rushed to my side. They laid hands and prayed for me. We had not prayed yet? For for heavens sake not?? Then Katie read to me from Psalms. Then they got my quiet worship music and pushed play. I went to bed and slept for almost 6 solid hours. I saw him alright. He was right there beside me, and he came in the form of my three friends.

Do you have those friends? Those friends who will rush to your aid at mid-night? I do ... and I am blown away by them and their love. They expressed sympathy after weeks of me expressing none. They loved after so long a time of me not loving well. They sat with me and held my hand, when I didn't want to talk... The very thing I have failed in so strongly. There was no judgment. They were and are constant! I complain and fight against their authority, and they just keep loving.

I was having a conversation last week with Katie about how I like to be in control. She laughed and said she cant WAIT for the day when I get married and have to relinquish control. That's just it, you cant choose to control me ... unless I relinquish it and give it to you. Why is that so hard? Today I was walking with Chels and she said she loved that I was letting her take control. I had relinquished to her and her authority. She took me to urgent care. And Walgreens. And let me come to the cafeteria, but gave me a time limit and sent me to bed only after watching me take my pills. You girls are absolutely amazing. I haven't had to pretend. You have let me be exactly what I am and have sat in my crap with me.

Thank you RA girls for covering my shifts. And looking me in the eye. And stopping in my room just to check on me. Thank you girls in my hall for being understanding. For being quiet while I slept in the middle of the afternoon. For asking about me. Thank you Katie for being constant. For getting my movie. For reading to my the Psalms. Thank you Chels for letting me relinquish authority to you. For taking me to the Dr. For coming to my aid at Mid-night. And thank you Ang. For being to me the very thing I have not been to you. For demonstrating love in its strongest form. And for sitting with me. I now understand. And tonight ... I go to sleep feeling very, very full.