Saturday, July 24, 2010

My Sister

DSC_0053"Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks - expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs - that can undermine any tale you're telling." -Pam Brown ( Borrowed quote off Katy's blog)

Today is my sisters birthday. I am sad that I can not be with her. I remember summers and all the different places we were during her birthday (Sunriver, Creation, Beach, Camping...) I sure loved it when we had parties and all her friends would come over and I would get to run around pretending in my mind to be so much older than I really was.

IMG_0779My sister is one of my most favorite people in the world, and it aches my heart that we live a whole state away. As a little girl, I imitated her every move; I find now, still trying to imitate her. She is my little big sister, I surpassed her in size and height when I was 11 ... but she never lost her influence on me. The nine years that separates us now is not as obvious as it once was, oh and how much I take joy in that! For so long I strived and strived to be older than I was to "catch up." It was not until this Thanksgiving that I realized, we would always be nine years apart, but we would continue to get closer the more things we had in common, the more I matured, the more we both grew deeper in the Lord.

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I know so much of her. Such a large part of my life, I sat just listening. I would hide under the bed and listen to her talk, or write out loud, or be on the phone, or chat with Cameo ... until I got my hair caught in the springs and started crying. I would hide under the desk, and listen. I would be allowed to go on car rides, and to friends houses, as long as I didn't complain. And I desired to be around her so much, I would go, even if it meant being a 11 year old, listening to 20 year olds discussing religion and politics at Sherri's at 11 at night. I would lay in hall way and listen to her late night conversations with Dad about the Bible. For a few years, I use to just go sit outside her door when I could not sleep at night. I would listen to Six Pence none the Richer and look with my one eye under the door at the flickering candle lights. I sat as she told me about this "David". I have listened as she told me childbirth, and post childbirth. And of being a mom, and a wife. And when she told me to go to college, I listened, I went, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

IMG_6016[1]Harmony, I love listening to you. I love calling you and letting you talk, rant, rave, ramble and repeat yourself. I am sorry if I don't offer more of me, I am not trying to hold back, I just love listening to you so much! It's ... what I have always done, even if you didn't know it. I love the Mama you are, and the wife you are, and the words you write ... reading them is like listening to you, because I can hear your voice. I love watching old movies with you, and discussing the language of quality literature. I feel so proud to have an older sister, one I have a relationship with, one I desire to be with, one I opt to be like. I share you (and your blog!) with everyone. I love that I have a sister, and I love even more that that sister is you! 

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Happy Birthday.  

5 comments:

Unknown said...

I can't tell you how lumped up my throat is at this! It makes me SO HAPPY that my daughters have the joy of each other. Harmony is my "chosen" sister in many ways and she has taught me much as well. But to read your words really bless me. :)

Unknown said...
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Anonymous said...

Well, this makes me feel less guilty for how I dominate our online chats!

You were the coolest kid I'd ever met, and I adored having you along. What would life have been like without you and Aileen in my back seat?

Anonymous said...

Really, though, this made me cry. I am so happy to have you for a sister. I look at Mama and the aunts, and I feel pretty lucky that we will have that too, our whole lives. I love you, thank you for this. This is the best kind of present, to me.

And anyway, I didn't know you hid and heard all of those things. I'm still trying to come to terms with this fact. No wonder you avoided half the teenage mistakes I made! Or.... nearly all the mistakes, haha.

Heather W. said...

Well Harmony, you don't need to come to too much grips, I can't repeat anything to you know that I heard then, I think it was momentary. Yes, I think these night did help me avoid certain mistakes ... but its not like I read your journal and new the innermost of you ... so don't be worried, I am not walking around with bits of secrets floating around ... its more of the memory of the overall. I love you!

Me

Portland, Oregon, United States