"Pink Mist" - An anthropological Report of Multnomah University

The following was co-written by Sarah Jones and Myself during a Video day of our Cultural Anthropology Class. The red was written by myself and the green was written by Sarah.

Once their was a Multnomah Student named Heather Sarah. Or Sarah Heather. Because the two names are equivalent and half of the girls at Multnomah are either named Sarah or Heather. With such superior names, this girl felt that she had a pretty good understanding on Multnomah Culture. First of all, she decided it was most necessary for a book to be written so that teh outside world might better understand the sub-culture living off Glisan Street. A publisher caught wind of the case study book while the girl was at lunch.

Since the JCA is the hub of much of Multnomah culture, the publisher decided to join the girl for a meal so that he could witness some of the anthropological phenomenons the girl had spoken of. They were not disappointed. First, they observed the pressure that students unconsciously felt to groan and complain when seeing the menu on the cafeteria door, whether they were truly disappointed by the food selection or not. it is simply not socially acceptable to be optimistic about Aarmark food. Second was the color of the air ... if looked at close enough, it appeared to be a tinge of pink! This so called "mist" had settled firmly among many a couple, and a little more gently upon others. Just as it was socially unacceptable fore one to be optimistic about Aarmark food, it was also socially unacceptable to be uncomfortable with the settling thick mist.

After an overwhelming amount of culture shock, the publisher turned anthropologist rushed out for a much needed break and debriefing But on their way they were stooped dead in their tracks by the most obvious and awkward result of the pink mist - the infamous DTR benches. Conveniently located within viewing range of either the dorms or JCA, these benches were occupied by couples ( and in some cases, room for Jesus) who were all in obviously serious conversation. Some talked quickly with serious and passionate expressions. Others simply murmured and giggled. Common between all occupied benches, however, were two things: the frequent passerby pretending not to be desperately eavesdropping and the dozen pairs of eyes shamelessly watching each couple from the cover of their rooms.

Overwhelmed by such relational intensity, the anthropologist decided to sit in on a Multnomah Class. The class he happened in upon was non other than Cultural Anthropology by Dr. Martin Alphonse. It was here that the case study was formally presented and was warmly accepted. Full of optimism, the young anthropologist publisher walked to his car parked in the Promised Land. A coat of light petals dropped onto the windshield just as the car rolled over the first speed bump. Happy about the breakthrough in the case study and thinking about the upcoming book, only Sarah Heather noticed the linking of eyes between Mr. Anthropology and the mysterious young converse wearing Multnomah Woman who walked by... Pink Mist Indeed!