I was babysitting a girl named Tori Mae, she was adopted from China at 9 months and now almost 4 years is obsessed with her native land. This is the story she told to me:
"Don't tell my mom that when I am 4 I am going to China. It will take me 19 moths, 30 minutes, and 15 minutes to walk there.Then I will come right home. I will stay there 18 hours. I will cook dinner for who is hungry. I dont know how to cook, but I will when I am 4.
"I love [China] just so much. I changed my mind, I am going to live in China when I am 4. One month after I turn 4 I am going to adopt a baby. It will be from China. It will be a girl. Her name will be Alexis because I love that name. It will be a girl with no hair... actually it will be a girl with some hair.
"Babies come from China. If you want a baby, you have to go to China to get one. I am from China. My Dad brought me on an airplane and I went on the airplane and that is how I got home I was there a long time and i didnt want to stay there a long time.
"Do people in China need Jesus?" I asked?
"Yes. So, when they want Him, I will take him out of my life and put him in their lives, then when they all have Him, I will put him back into my life.
"Do you want to give people the Jesus in your life?"
"Yes. Then I am done."
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Elevator talk
My dad and I were in an elevator this week. I was questioning why "elevator" and "awkwardness" seem to be antonyms for each other. Here we are people of the same culture and language but because we are stuck in a moving box for 16 seconds together suddenly our worlds clash and we stare awkwardly at the floor refusing to utter a sound. We listen to the easy music and count the floors go by hoping that more people do not get on and force us to squeeze closer than the 3 foot radius we already created. Well when we were in the elevator on this particular day a man came in with his dog and immediatly began talking to each person. He talked to his dog and himself and talked to talk in general. He got the two ladies laughing, he got my dad talking, he even got me to look at the other people that were standing next to me. The air didnt feel thick I didnt feel uncomftorable, I wondered why few enough have the courage to do what this man did. What is it about elevators that paralaze us? Why are we unable to brave the communication barriar? I dont know the answer, but I know that one mad did and it got me thinking.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Identity over Influence.
This week I was talking to my youth pastor, Chris Hinson, we were discusing my generation in general and how we relate and respond to things. I think somewhere we are both looking for a solution to a problem that will never be fixed, but we are out to save the world one small idea at a time. I told him that influence is one of the largest factors in our life on deciding who we become, that is why I want to work with kids and be a positive influence. That is why I think Mentors, like the one-on-one leader I had in Budapest (Lisa McKinney) are so important. They pour into our lives and believe in us when no one else does. But... what about people that dont have a Lisa? How will they make it? Well, God did create us to depend on others... but also to be independent. I wonder how I made it through so many years to where I am today without having a mentor of a sort, a constant pastor or older person... This is where Chris intrigued me...
"Heather, did you have a concept of your identity of Christ at an early age?"
After thinking about it, I decided that I did. I knew who I was and where I was going and why... even if I didnt really. I knew that I didnt need a boy friend, that there was more to this world than pleasure, I didnt have to try to be someone else cause I was comftorable just being me. So, if people can have an understanding of their identity in Christ, it doesnt matter what life throws at them, they will be secure and unchangeable. Mentors are important, friends full of encouragement are a necessity to our livs - but if we have those things and have no identity in Christ, we are nothing. So though I thrive to mentor others and to influence them... my influence will do nothing without their secure knowledge of their identity in Christ and role in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Just some thoughts.
"Heather, did you have a concept of your identity of Christ at an early age?"
After thinking about it, I decided that I did. I knew who I was and where I was going and why... even if I didnt really. I knew that I didnt need a boy friend, that there was more to this world than pleasure, I didnt have to try to be someone else cause I was comftorable just being me. So, if people can have an understanding of their identity in Christ, it doesnt matter what life throws at them, they will be secure and unchangeable. Mentors are important, friends full of encouragement are a necessity to our livs - but if we have those things and have no identity in Christ, we are nothing. So though I thrive to mentor others and to influence them... my influence will do nothing without their secure knowledge of their identity in Christ and role in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Just some thoughts.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Check the size of the cup
I always seem to be busy, even when I am not doing anything, I am busy with it. Right now I am busy because I am blogging, many would see this as a form of relaxation (which it is to me) or as a sign of laziness protraying another aspect of my lazy generation, I just look at it as another way of staying busy. i think this has something to do with perspective, something along the lines of "is the cup half full or half empty" type of a deal... well maybe we just need to look at a different sized cup. Its about your perspective towards life and time. I like to look at not just how full or empty the cup is.. but what its contents reveal. What is it full of? what is it lacking? I want to know what makes up the matter inside the cup.
I think so many people see empty cups, well maybe they need to focus their attention a little more, narrow down their vision and see a smaller, much fuller cup. or maybe your cup is full, but you dont know what to do from there - investigate the contents. Figure out what it is that makes it full, what keeps it from overflowing, or from drying out completely.
I think so many people see empty cups, well maybe they need to focus their attention a little more, narrow down their vision and see a smaller, much fuller cup. or maybe your cup is full, but you dont know what to do from there - investigate the contents. Figure out what it is that makes it full, what keeps it from overflowing, or from drying out completely.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Gleaning at McDonalds
Yesterday I met a man named Bill Carpenter. He was old and had on a worn hat that was perfectly shaped to his head after probably decades of wear. None of his teeth were showing but his lips beamed forth a huge smile. I met him at McDonalds. The conversation started as he patted me on the back and said...
"Young Lady, are you reading the Good Book? Good for you."
And he sat down at a table opposite me. After ten minutes of silence, me in the Good Book and him with the daily Statesman Journal, he spoke again...
"You know, it really warms my heart to see a young person in the word."
I smiled at him and thanked him... he continued to speak. He told me of his life story, starting in the middle, working forward, then starting in the beginning. He non-chalantly mentioned his travels as a missionary throughout countries scattering the continent of South America and told me of his present day mission: to go into all the world and help the poor and needy.
"I dont go to church. I dont pay thythe to the church, but I give my life to Jesus. At one point in my life I was living off of 1/10 of my income and giving the other 9/10 to him, not because I was rich, but because it was his. I like the church, but God told me to go into all the world... and this is what i do."
I was throughly wrapped up in his story and felt like Jesus was speaking to me on an individual level, like he was sitting right in front of me. Bill went on to talk about the Harvest, a topic very hot on my conversation list.
"There are farmers, people who plant seeds. People who water the seeds. Then there are the harvesters, the people who pick the fruit. After the harvest is over there is a fourth group of people, gleaners. Gleaners pick up what the harvesters left behind. Well, God has called me to be a gleaner, to help pick up what has been left behind from past harvests."
I will admit to being stunned by his remark. I focus so much on "the harvest"... but who will glean? How encouraged I was by this converstion, the words spoken into my life. I was just a young girl killing time at a McDonalds and I decided to have church, to meet with God, well he decided to send someone along so that I would feel I was having church with Jesus. God knew exactly what I needed. And want to know the best part? Bill Carpenter is at McDonalds every morning and would love to talk with me and encourage me more.
"Young Lady, are you reading the Good Book? Good for you."
And he sat down at a table opposite me. After ten minutes of silence, me in the Good Book and him with the daily Statesman Journal, he spoke again...
"You know, it really warms my heart to see a young person in the word."
I smiled at him and thanked him... he continued to speak. He told me of his life story, starting in the middle, working forward, then starting in the beginning. He non-chalantly mentioned his travels as a missionary throughout countries scattering the continent of South America and told me of his present day mission: to go into all the world and help the poor and needy.
"I dont go to church. I dont pay thythe to the church, but I give my life to Jesus. At one point in my life I was living off of 1/10 of my income and giving the other 9/10 to him, not because I was rich, but because it was his. I like the church, but God told me to go into all the world... and this is what i do."
I was throughly wrapped up in his story and felt like Jesus was speaking to me on an individual level, like he was sitting right in front of me. Bill went on to talk about the Harvest, a topic very hot on my conversation list.
"There are farmers, people who plant seeds. People who water the seeds. Then there are the harvesters, the people who pick the fruit. After the harvest is over there is a fourth group of people, gleaners. Gleaners pick up what the harvesters left behind. Well, God has called me to be a gleaner, to help pick up what has been left behind from past harvests."
I will admit to being stunned by his remark. I focus so much on "the harvest"... but who will glean? How encouraged I was by this converstion, the words spoken into my life. I was just a young girl killing time at a McDonalds and I decided to have church, to meet with God, well he decided to send someone along so that I would feel I was having church with Jesus. God knew exactly what I needed. And want to know the best part? Bill Carpenter is at McDonalds every morning and would love to talk with me and encourage me more.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Teaching Jonah to love Starbucks
Home, aghhh this is where I want to be. Last year I was discontented, I wanted to be far away from this stuffy place. The world of high class preps, large spenders and fakes. I wanted simplicity and calmness. I received my request - almost to my regret. I do not regret going away, actually quite the contrary - it affects me day in and day out, but I didnt receive the response I thought I wanted...
I thought that going away would make me hate my country more and love the unlovable. I thought I would have a renewed sense of missios and simplicity. But what I have found is that I love this place all the more than in the past. I do love the unlovable - but the ones that live here. I have a renewed sense of missions, of how we are not doing it here. I have simplicity, wraped up in my complex world... what I have learned is all the more what a funny guy God is.
Armenia, if you take a globe and stuck a penil striaght accross from Oregon, you would get Armenia. God had to take me to the absolute farthest place on earth (before coming back around the other direction) to show me that he wants me here. He is calling me to this place, the one country I wanted to run from. Just like Jonah, he ran from God, ran from the very and only locatio in which he was called . So God allowed him to go on a venture, on that would change his life, and when Jonah got there (wherever "there" was) He told Jonah that he wanted him to go to Ninivah. So while I was gone I found out that by Gods grace he let me follow my dream, he called me away for a season to plant me here for my life.
Yes, I still hate the stuffed up people, the expensive coffee drinks and complexity... But something in me LOVES IT HERE. I have talked to missionaries who say "I hate the way this country looks, i dont like that the people are mean, i miss home, i dont like the food... BUT I LOVE IT HERE" That is only by the grace of God. Not many people really want to live in Armenia, but the missionaries I met there... they did cause that is what they were called to. And when we are in the will of God, we will love what we ought ot hate. A good friend of mine Benjamin Zimmer once told me "You know what my favorite smell in all the world is? Homeless People. I just love the smell of homeless people. I know I shouldnt, but there is something in me that just wants to hug them so I can take a big wiff... because that is where I know I should be." Ben was in a place most of us would be uncomftorable with... but he was happy... actually he loved it because it was where God wanted him...
A few weeks back I was driving down the road, I had on new shoes, and nice clothes. My cellphone was on the dashboard, I had a full tank of gas and fast food on the floor and was on my way to the mall. I stopped at the red light and just looked at myself... And I smiled. I love it. And not because it is easy or comftorable or because I have lots of money (cause I dont) I love it because this is what I have always hated. I have a renewed sense of vision but something in me cries out love. I know it is God, becuase I am not here seeking after the "American Dream"... Yet I am living. I ask him every day to show me how to stay simple. How to humble myself and seek his face. How to find him... And I do! I see him everywhere I go. He meets me everywhere I go and I am happy cause I am in him, I am where he wants me to be. This may be the only location and culture I have never wanted to be a part of, but this is what he wants from me. I am not looking to conform to the patterns of this world. I am still me. I still love orphans and airports and new food. I enjoy living out of a suitcase and not having enough clothes to choose from. I love simplicity... but I am in love with home.
I thought that going away would make me hate my country more and love the unlovable. I thought I would have a renewed sense of missios and simplicity. But what I have found is that I love this place all the more than in the past. I do love the unlovable - but the ones that live here. I have a renewed sense of missions, of how we are not doing it here. I have simplicity, wraped up in my complex world... what I have learned is all the more what a funny guy God is.
Armenia, if you take a globe and stuck a penil striaght accross from Oregon, you would get Armenia. God had to take me to the absolute farthest place on earth (before coming back around the other direction) to show me that he wants me here. He is calling me to this place, the one country I wanted to run from. Just like Jonah, he ran from God, ran from the very and only locatio in which he was called . So God allowed him to go on a venture, on that would change his life, and when Jonah got there (wherever "there" was) He told Jonah that he wanted him to go to Ninivah. So while I was gone I found out that by Gods grace he let me follow my dream, he called me away for a season to plant me here for my life.
Yes, I still hate the stuffed up people, the expensive coffee drinks and complexity... But something in me LOVES IT HERE. I have talked to missionaries who say "I hate the way this country looks, i dont like that the people are mean, i miss home, i dont like the food... BUT I LOVE IT HERE" That is only by the grace of God. Not many people really want to live in Armenia, but the missionaries I met there... they did cause that is what they were called to. And when we are in the will of God, we will love what we ought ot hate. A good friend of mine Benjamin Zimmer once told me "You know what my favorite smell in all the world is? Homeless People. I just love the smell of homeless people. I know I shouldnt, but there is something in me that just wants to hug them so I can take a big wiff... because that is where I know I should be." Ben was in a place most of us would be uncomftorable with... but he was happy... actually he loved it because it was where God wanted him...
A few weeks back I was driving down the road, I had on new shoes, and nice clothes. My cellphone was on the dashboard, I had a full tank of gas and fast food on the floor and was on my way to the mall. I stopped at the red light and just looked at myself... And I smiled. I love it. And not because it is easy or comftorable or because I have lots of money (cause I dont) I love it because this is what I have always hated. I have a renewed sense of vision but something in me cries out love. I know it is God, becuase I am not here seeking after the "American Dream"... Yet I am living. I ask him every day to show me how to stay simple. How to humble myself and seek his face. How to find him... And I do! I see him everywhere I go. He meets me everywhere I go and I am happy cause I am in him, I am where he wants me to be. This may be the only location and culture I have never wanted to be a part of, but this is what he wants from me. I am not looking to conform to the patterns of this world. I am still me. I still love orphans and airports and new food. I enjoy living out of a suitcase and not having enough clothes to choose from. I love simplicity... but I am in love with home.
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