Oh Enter in

Oh Prostitute there you are walking, I see you but I’m not gawking.

On the street your hearts in pain, I wonder if you feel like a crimson stain. Do you know that Jesus can wash you clean again?

Why did you give away your gold, price cheaply something that can’t be sold?

That pain and loneliness needs no longer define who you are, accept your  identity in him and come on out of that bar.

Oh Prostitute there you are walking, I see you but I'm not gawking.

Daughter of Zion, see his arms open wide, run into the embrace, you no longer need to hide.

That fear in your eyes, its from believing lies … but do you know the one who hears all your cries?

Enter into his courts with thanksgiving,  enter his courts and experience holy living.

Oh Prostitute there you are walking, I see you but I’m not gawking.

Coming

"My heart has heard you say 'Come and talk with me."
And my heart responds, "Lord I am coming." - Psalm 27:8

This verse has been stuck in my head for weeks now. When I sat down tonight determined to blog, its all I could think about. So, instead of this, I am going to that.

Mine.

Today, I miss this field.

Ode to Sharell

Today Sharell moved to Idaho. Now, I know she will be back in like three weeks to go on vacation with her family. And that I will see her this summer, and that we will talk probably more than we do now… but for some reason, it is really hard that she moved. I mean, we were always going to live together, we would be perfect roommates you know.

I said goodbye to her today at the Starbucks by mall 205. I wrote on her car: “I love you” and “Idaho or BUST".” I think she liked it.

She is going to pursue all she has strived after. To be an adult, to be on her own, to take over the world. And she will. She has her nice new car, and some money in savings. And a boyfriend who she says is a man … so I trust her. Clayton, you are with a very worthy woman.

If you don’t know my little sister, you wont understand when I tell you about her role in my life. How our friendship is physical and face to face and intense and legit. You wouldn’t know how brave she is, and the strong woman she is for pushing through all the crap life has brought at her. And she still has joy and purpose and drive.

I know I left first, and that really I haven't been around, but its going to be weird you not being here Sharell. I think I might just fast Muchos Grascious all together. A little chuck of me melted today to see you “all grown up.” Though I know in my heart that the majority of our lives will probably be spent apart. Know that I love you, in such a way that I love no one else.

Love, your big sister.

#12

Tonight we finished our game. Its been 16 months, I’ll admit, we thought it would take longer. It was Christmas break 2008, and Heather got snowed in at my house. In order to escape boredom we started a two person game of rummy … playing to 10,000. If you don’t know, an average hand of rummy gets each person about 100 points … so you can see how many games we have had to play. Pretty much every time we have seen each other in the past year and half we have played, even if it just for like 15 minutes. It’s been what we did!

About a month ago I realized that we needed something to play for. So we created this: If I won, Heather had to make me any dinner I wanted and get me a shirt that declared my winning. If Heather won, I have to go on any hike she wants for a weekend campout.

Heather won. I played “We are the Champion's” and she did a happy dance. She told me I need to start working out cause we are going hiking soon. I am a little scared. But then, I realized that an overnight hiking trip is on my list too, #9.

Final score? 10,100 to 9,825. Now that we are done … what are we going to do when we are together? Well … we are looking at starting a new game … just not rummy. Oh, and I plan on winning this time.

Thailand

I miss Thailand. This time last year ... I was there. Laying on the beach. Tan. Drinking coconut milkshakes from a restaurant called Charlie Browns. Taking Zoe for $.30 7/11 Slurpees. Walking the markets. Being refreshed by air conditioning. Eating noodles and rice and skewers with my fingers. Mastering chop sticks. Being shuttled by taxi and tuk tuk and motorcycle boys. I miss the egg boy in the mornings at Narateewa, and the view of hazy city when I would wake up in the mornings. The flash storms. The smell of spices and heat and people. I miss not having to spend a bunch of time on my outfits for the day. Trying to figure out menu's and signs in a language other than my own. Wandering in the city, trying to get lost. I miss six dollar massages. Wine on the airplane and sunsets that blow everything out of the water. Bowing to everybody and the genuine smiles the protruded from strangers. Shrines to foreign gods in front of every single door - and being constantly reminded to pray for a nation and people lost in the darkness of the absence of truth. I miss feeling safe, even though I probably shouldn't have been.

When I was there, I said I wanted to stay forever. By the end, I decided that I didn't based upon the heat being too intense and my lack of interest in such a huge city or living on a beach. The farther away I get from there, the more I want to go back. I need to go back. Of the 13 Countries I have been to outside of America, it is the only one I think about daily, the only one I could see myself going back to.

I splurged tonight to buy myself Thai dinner on the urging of Jerren. It was a disappointment. I should have paid like a dollar more to get the Pine Apple Fried Rice. Now, I sit with a cup of hot Thai Chai and am happy ... but still dreaming of that wonderful land...