High School

I've been thinking a lot about high school lately. How when you are in it, you think you are on top of the world. You are involved in so many activities that it makes toddlers look lazy. And how these activities that you are involved in, they are the most important thing you have ever done. That soccer game you won, it was like winning a gold medal at the Olympics, things are proportioned to be just that important! And they are. At least to you, and your friends, and your parents.

As high schoolers we get this sense that we can be or do anything we want to do. Being pushed to succeed and think upon our futures and grow up. But we don't really have to grow up too fast. We get the responsibilities of doing cool things, while not having to pay for gas or outings or late nights at Sharies, because we are too busy with our events to work. (Not that you can really find a job when you are 15 anyway...)

One of my friends from high school just re-entered my life. So it has me thinking on a lot of this stuff. The emotions from five years ago, my attitudes and views and opinions. I've found that in many ways I have not changed near as much as I thought I had. You change to form the new environment you find yourself in. But once placed back in the old environment, the old you comes back out. But rather than retracting, which I thought was happening, I am a more full person because of this. I am able to embrace my current environment, with past thoughts. And it is fulfilling.

But I was thinking about how full your future feels when your 17, how of all the things were involved in, we really think we can succeed in any of those areas. That we can make a living doing the arts or sports. We love the praise and admiration we receive, and of course that spawns us towards the career we try to pick. And then college comes.

I guess some people in college do what they set out to do. But not many. Because in the act of trying to find ourselves in high school, what we really find is all the things that we can be semi-good at. And of course we want to do those things, because its nice to feel that you are the best at something. (even if you come from a high school of 40 kids, being the best still means something:) I mean, I really wanted to do year book the rest of my life. It was so fun! It doesn't make sense now. No body looks at their yearbooks after the signing day. Yearbooks don't happen in college, or work or families or really the rest of life. But it was a good idea, because I was good at it!


"High school, High school, could be, could be, a mini me, of the rest of society..." An old Super chick song that I would blast while driving the minivan down Lancaster Street. Still quite a bit of truth in it. It was a mini me of the rest of society.

I was thinking about how high school was a good thing, at least for me. For a girl whose love language was affirmation, to receive it everywhere I turned, it was a very encouraging time. Now, at this point in my life I may not be involved in three sports, yearbook, student government and a spring play at like the same time .... but I am busy, and I am doing things. And the things I am doing, I try to do them well. Sometimes, its still nice to be extraordinary. I love looking at the girls who are in high school now. They are extraordinary people.

Alyssa and Juliana, you rock my socks off. I am so proud of you two, the things you are involved in, the things you accomplish. You are going to grow into the most amazing women! Thank you for sharing with me last week, and for letting me be a small part of your lives. Take your high school and embrace it, because it won't come again.

On Being an Adult

You know when you are 10 and you are allowed to stay home alone for the first time?? And you feel like you are an adult? And you pretend that the house you are in is all yours?
Then the Parents come back.
You know when you are like 15 and you stay home over night for the first time? And you feel like you like you are an adult? And you pretend that the house you are in is all yours?
Then the adults come back.
You know when you are 18 and you travel across the world, alone, for the first time? And you feel like you are an adult? And you pretend the life you are living is your adult life?
Then you go home and find you are not the adult you thought you were.
You know when you are 21 and you can do things for the first time? And you feel like your an adult? And you pretend that you are an adult. Then, you look at yourself and realize your not as cool as you make yourself out to be.
And you wait for the adults to come back, and you see that your suppose to be that adult.
And you know when you are 22, and you feel like your suppose to be this adult? Because 22 is really old. And for the first time, you realize that the adults are not coming back. That the game is not going to end. That you are the adult.

I was laying in bed the other night. Laughing to myself. Laughing about this game I am playing, where I pretend to be an adult. You know, like when your 5 and you tell someone your 12, and they "believe you." You know they dont really believe you... but it seems like they do, so you hold onto that glimmer of maybe and laugh about it. Well, I was laughing about this game of me pretending to be an adult, and how long its worked! I mean, I convinced someone to rent me a stinkin house! But, what happens when she finds out that I am not an ad--- .... Oh See Thats when it hit me. I am the adult. I'm not playing a game anymore. I convinced her, because I am that adult! I am convincable because I am who I am! And I am still kind of giddy about that.